On waiting.

As you’ve probably noticed, my blog has been pretty dry recently. It’s amusing yet embarrassing to think that just a few months ago, I was updating this blog frequently (almost every other day!) with photos, words, or video. Now, it has become an outlet to share about events I think are worth sharing, which are, obviously, not very many.

Truth be told, these last couple of months have been a lesson on waiting. Or shall I say, not waiting. For what seems like the entirety of my time in Korea, I’ve been waiting for the next event. When I first arrived to Korea, I waited for the next writing opportunity. Eight months later, I was engaged and it then became one huge waiting game for the big day. After returning to Korea in July of this year, I began waiting for October—Kaylen’s wedding in New York, which would be a wondrous occasion of family reunion and fun. Returning from that marked the beginning of an intense waiting and longing for our next move to New York.

But what I recently realized was that waiting is no way to live. Waiting meant that projects would be put on hold until the “right” time or until “next” time. Waiting meant keeping my heart partially closed in return for the excitement of the next best thing. Waiting meant a potentially disappointing situation in which I’d look back on these amazing years in Korea and realize I’ve accomplished virtually nothing creatively because I was telling myself, “I’ll do that when we leave Korea.”

Grasping this huge and challenging lesson has kicked me in the butt to get moving, to stop waiting. It’s inspired me to dream bigger, act ambitiously, and settle for nothing less than excellent. Thus, rather than applying or writing for more organizations/publications that don’t allow me to write the stories that weigh on my heart, I’m starting my own online magazine solely dedicated to story telling.

With the unending support of my husband and the enthusiasm of incredibly creative people at our church, I’ve embarked on a journey to share the untold, extraordinary stories of ordinary people, like you and me. No fancy writing is required and even if I tried, I couldn’t make this stuff up. These stories are simply amazing. And you’ll see why soon.

I hope to launch the magazine in a couple weeks, so keep your eyes open.  In the meantime, I am rededicating myself to this blog—as I’ve done so many times before—because it’s not about the pivotal, life-altering moments you see in movies that make life so incredible. Life is incredible because of the mundane decisions and everyday relationships that intersect and weave together to form a beautiful pattern.

I’m currently reading a beautifully-written book called “Cold Tangerines” by Shauna Niequist. In it, she says something so simple yet so profound: celebration takes discipline. In other words, celebrating in the midst of the chaos that surrounds us isn’t going to be a natural inclination. It’s going to take discipline and require us to live intentionally. Which brings me back to my original point: waiting isn’t celebrating life.