negligence.

2.20.2010

Hi lovelies...I apologize for neglecting the blog for a couple of days. This last week was a bit hectic with birthday celebrations, Valentine's Day and more midterms (yes, mid-terms two weeks before the quarter is over...) But I'm back and ready to tackle life and this continuous writers/creative block.

I'm going through that whole "I'm feeling uncreative and uninspired again." I'm not sad or upset; in fact, I'm fairly happy with life but I have a huge 5,000 word piece that's looming over me and I just can't bring myself to start it.

I feel like this...

I've been in bed all day. It's sooo comfortable and warm. I'm going to try my best to be productive and stay in bed but usually, that combination is an instant failure as I usually fall asleep.

Also, have you ever experienced a time in your life when you begin to differentiate between the people you want to keep in your life forever and the "friends" that aren't growing with you and are instead keeping/pulling you down? I've been thinking a lot about this lately and it has been a pretty intense process. In the last month or so, I've grown closer to some of the most amazing, beautiful people ever that I know I will want in my life forever. At the same time, I've been really frightened in realizing that some friends aren't who I thought they were.

Maybe this is the overarching dread that I've been experiencing that has prevented me from progressing creatively.

What do you suggest I do? If you've gone through this, please let me know that I'm not alone. I mean, who knows, I could just be over-thinking the entire thing.

On a lighter note, how awesome did Evan Lysacek do on Thursday night? I mean, he killed it. And the fact that Plushenko has been such a baby about it makes the win that much better. You can read it about it here.


For those of you that didn't know, I used to figure skate as a child. My goal was to compete in the 2006 Winter Olympics but I lost the passion for it and quit in 2000. However, figure skating still holds a special place in my heart and the fact that an American won the gold with grace and poise makes me that much prouder. I can't wait until the women's!

Until next time (which will be soon, I promise!), ciao <3

4 comments :

Simply Tanya said...

I evaluate my friendships all the time because I feel people change or they aren't consistently a friend. I guess the best advice given to me was to accept the fact that not every single one of your friends are going to be caring and heartfelt or a lifelong friend. People come in and out of our lives for different reasons, not everyone will be special and that sucks. Cherish the ones you do see yourself "growing old" with as friends. It's strange because unlike romantic relationships you don't break up with friends. I always feel like I am over thinking too but don't worry, a lot of people think about this (well maybe women more). I just try to make an effort to see those who make an effort as well.

I am pretty sure this will be a lifelong struggle especially when "life" really hits everyone. Marriage, kids, careers... we will all have to evaluate friendships and make decisions.

In regards to just being in bed all day... I want to too!! I am trying to study for a midterm on Monday in bed. It's kind of working. :)

heidi said...

Well I agree with both of you guys! I've begun to realize that I only have a handful of life long friends. Everyone else I have met, are still amazing people, but they aren't as special as my true friends.

A few nights ago, I was looking through all of my old notes and pictures and yearbooks of Zion and I actually started to cry. Yup. I definitely cried over Zion. I just felt so sad and guilty that I threw away some good friendships. Especially with you, Elysabeth. And Tanya. I'm so sorry for letting our friendships slip away. I miss you both so much and I still do love you both.

Ok I'm done writing because I'm starting to cry again haha.

Love you both :)

Susan said...

You're over thinking it and not, you not alone. :-) It's called life so embrace it.

Life is made up of little droplets of experiences. Those experiences change us invisibly every day, which makes it really important for those in relationships to communicate often (especially in long distance relationships. We are different people today than who we were last year.

You'll discover that friends you didn't have much in common with to begin with, and you don't see much - the friendships will eventually fade. On the flipside, the people you meet that you think are fabulous, you may feel the same in 2 years after the daily experiences have changed you to be who you are then.

So, what are we to do? The relationships we deem important, work at it, cultivate it, pay attention to it, keep it alive.

WOW! I'm deep today, huh?

elysabeth said...

Thanks for everyone's advice...I really feel the love! :)